Have you ever met someone new and they do something that immediately turns you off?
We’ve all heard that first impressions are crucial. They have the ability to initiate or terminate friendships before they have even begun.
Knowing what to do when meeting someone for the first time is crucial. But knowing what not to do is just as vital.
That’s why we’ve compiled a list of five behaviors that can turn people off right away.
Some will surprise you, while others will have you saying, “Oh, yeah, I hate it when people do that.”
So let’s get started and look at these no-nos while meeting new individuals!
1. Being Obsessed with Your Phone
We’re all guilty of checking our phones more frequently than we should, but there’s a time and a place for everything.
When you meet someone for the first time, they want to know they have your whole focus.
If you’re continuously staring at your phone, texting, or reading through social media, it communicates that you’re uninterested in them or what they have to say.
It’s an easy way to make a poor first impression.
So, the next time you meet someone new, fight the impulse to look at your phone.
Your Instagram feed can wait, but a new acquaintance may not!
2. Interrupting or speaking over others
Everyone wants to be heard and to believe that their thoughts are valued.
Interrupting or talking over someone, especially when meeting them for the first time, might appear unpleasant and inconsiderate.
It conveys the idea that you believe your words are more important than theirs.
This can easily turn people off and jeopardize the possibility of developing a solid relationship.
Remember that a conversation is a two-way street, so listen as much as you speak, and respect the other person’s thoughts and beliefs.
3. Avoiding Eye Contact
I once met someone at a networking event who hardly made eye contact with me.
Instead, they kept looking around the room, as if they were looking for someone more fascinating to chat to.
It made me feel insignificant and unloved, as if I were merely a stopover on their way to more meaningful chats.
Eye contact is an effective approach to demonstrate that you are engaged and interested in what the other person is saying.
It contributes to the development of trust and connection.
If you don’t put forth enough effort, you may come across as aloof or uninterested, which can be a turn-off for many individuals.
Remember that your eyes can sometimes convey a lot more than your words!
4. Being Overly Negative
Did you know that our brains are programmed to react more strongly to unpleasant experiences than positive ones?
This is referred to as the negative bias.
So, if you’re continually whining or focusing on the negative side of things when you meet someone for the first time, they’re likely to recall you as a negative person.
This is not to say that you should always be unreasonably optimistic.
It’s fine to express your troubles and challenges, but try to balance them out by sharing pleasant experiences, interests, or hobbies.
People are often drawn to positive energy and prefer to spend time with those that uplift them rather than those who bring them down.
5. Lack of Empathy
We humans are social beings. We yearn for connection, comprehension, and empathy from others.
When we encounter someone who lacks empathy, it might seem like a frigid spray of water.
I’m sure you’ve been in a position when you’re revealing something personal or significant to you and the person with whom you’re speaking replies with apathy, if not outright disrespect.
It hurts, doesn’t it?
Empathy does not need you to agree with everything the other person says or does.
It just involves recognizing their emotions and experiences.
It is about treating others as we would like to be treated.
Empathy is a wonderful tool for connecting with others and making a good first impression.
6. Being excessively self-centered
I once struck up a discussion with a stranger I met at a social gathering.
However, it became evident very quickly that this ‘chat’ was more of a monologue.
She was so preoccupied with herself – her accomplishments, trips, and opinions – that she barely asked me any questions. I felt more like an observer than a participant in the discussion.
When meeting someone new, being extremely self-centered can immediately turn them off. It is critical to demonstrate interest in the other person rather than just yourself.
Inquire about their lives and experiences, and show real interest in them.
Remember that a conversation is like a tennis match, not a solo performance!
7. Being a Fraud
No one enjoys a phony.
Insincerity is frequently detectable from a mile away, and it is an instant turn-off.
We’ve all encountered someone who puts on a mask, appearing to be someone they’re not in order to impress others. It seems uneasy and dishonest.
Be real while meeting someone for the first time. Be true to yourself. We all have flaws and insecurities, which is what makes us human.
Pretending to be flawless or inflating your achievements will not earn you genuine friends. On the other hand, authenticity will.
So drop the act and accept your own self, allowing your natural nature to come through. People are drawn to honesty because it is raw, true, and pleasantly rare.
8. Personal Space Invasion
Did you know that we all have an invisible bubble around us called “personal space”?
When others get within 1.5 feet of us, most of us feel uneasy.
It is perceived as an invasion of our personal space and can immediately turn people off.
It is critical to respect someone’s personal space while meeting them for the first time.
Make no unnecessary physical contact or stand too close.
Instead, keep a safe distance that allows for a polite and respectful interaction.
Remember that respecting limits is an essential component of establishing a good first impression!
9. Inability to recall names
I remember meeting someone at a party who had forgotten my name within minutes of meeting me.
It made me feel as if I didn’t matter to them, or that I wasn’t important enough to remember.
Remembering and using people’s names when meeting them for the first time may seem insignificant, yet it can have a significant influence.
It demonstrates that you value and care for them.
If you have trouble recalling people’s names, try repeating them after they introduce themselves or linking their name with something memorable.
It may take some practice, but it is well worth it!
10. Being Judgemental
We all have peculiarities and weaknesses.
When you meet someone for the first time and begin ripping them apart, criticizing their choices or dismissing their beliefs, it can be quite off-putting.
You are not a judge or jury in their case. You two are only getting to know one other.
Try to keep an open mind when meeting new people.
Leave your preconceived notions at the door and try to understand the individual for who they are rather than who you believe they should be.
Keep in mind that everyone is battling their own struggles. Give others space to be themselves by being nice and empathetic.
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